


Letting Go

by AelinElentiya



Series: Twilight Stories [3]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Aunt-Niece Relationship, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:42:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5422679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AelinElentiya/pseuds/AelinElentiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nessie wants something that Bella can’t give her, and Bella realizes that she won’t be there for everything, and will eventually have to let her go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

It was summertime, and it was possibly the hottest summer that Bella had ever experienced in Forks. Of course, she barely felt the difference now that she was a vampire, but she was enjoying the summer holidays all the same. She was sitting on Carlisle and Esme’s front porch, watching Renesmee play on the lawn.  
Her growing had slowed down since this past March. She was now the size of a normal five year old, or maybe a small six year old, and she had the attitude of one. She had recently demanded to be taught how to paint, and it was the first time in weeks that Bella had been able to drag her away from the easel. She was pretty good, considering she was only a year old.  
It was hard to believe that sometimes, that she was only just a year old. She was still a baby, but yet she didn’t act like it—and certainly didn’t look like it. Sometimes Bella would watch her sleep at night, just to make sure that she didn’t suddenly age drastically again. But Carlisle kept assuring her that her growth seemed to have slowed down, and there was nothing to worry about. It didn’t stop her from worrying, though.  
Renesmee stopped playing with the hula-hoop, and bounced over to her. “Momma,” she said. “Momma, I want to go to the beach.”  
Bella swallowed. She had wondered if she would ask. She’d only been able to take her to the beach on overcast days, but she’d enjoyed it. She’d loved playing with Claire, who might be older than her but she was still the same size.  
“Um, I don’t think we can go to the beach today, Ness,” Bella said. “Maybe we’ll go on the weekend, okay?”  
“I don’t want to go on the weekend,” Nessie pouted. “I want to go when it’s nice and sunny out and there will be other kids there, not just Claire. I want to go today.”  
Guilt clawed up Bella’s heart, but she pushed it down. She had no reason to feel guilty. “Sweetheart... I would take you, but I can’t,” she said. “You know what happens when Mommy’s in the sun. That would happen if we went to the beach. And it’s against the law. I would expose us, and get us in trouble with the Volturi again.”  
Nessie still pouted, but there was understanding in her eyes. Bella almost sighed. “Can I go with Jake?” She asked. “You wouldn’t get in trouble then. I could go with Jake, Mommy. Can’t I? Please?”  
Bella hadn’t thought of that. It was a good idea, actually. “I’ll call him, sweetheart. But I think he’s working today,” she said. Jacob had recently gotten a job at Dowling’s Mechanics.  
“Okay,” Nessie said, perking up. She went into the house, and returned a minute later with Bella’s cell phone in hand. Bella smiled—she was persistent.  
Bella, knowing that Nessie wouldn’t drop the subject until it was absolutely impossible, dialled Jake’s number and put the phone to her ear. She hoped there would be no answer, but Jake answered on the fourth ring. “Hey, Bells. What’s up?” He sounded cheery, and she could hear the sound of metal clanging in the background.  
“Not much. I just had a question. Well, actually, Nessie wanted me to ask you a favour,” Bella said.  
“Sure,” Jake said. “What do you need?”  
She hesitated. Nessie’s face was so hopeful—she really didn’t want to upset her by telling her she couldn’t go. “Well, Nessie wanted to go to the beach, but I can’t take her today because it’s so nice out. But she really wanted to go, because it is so nice out and she wants to see what it’s like when other people are there. So I—we—were wondering if you would be able to take her?” Bella asked.  
“Oh, man,” Jake said, sighing. “I would love to. But we’re really busy today, and I can’t leave. I’m not even done work until at least five.”  
“Oh,” Bella said, and Nessie’s face fell. “That’s okay. I figured you might not be able to. Hey... Do you think Rachel would mind taking her? Just for a couple hours?”  
“No, I don’t think she would mind,” Jake said. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. The boss is giving me a dirty look for being on the phone. But try Rachel, or Emily. I’ll be by tonight.”  
“Okay,” Bella said. “Thanks.”  
And Jake hung up. Nessie looked up at her, her eyes both hopeful and sad. “Do you really think Rachel would take me to the beach?” She asked. “I don’t think she likes me.”  
Bella frowned. “Why would you think that?” She asked.  
“Because she looks at me funny, sometimes. She doesn’t talk to me like everyone else does. She avoids me,” Nessie confessed. “I think she hates me.”  
Bella would’ve laughed, if not for the fact that Nessie looked so bothered by it. “She doesn’t hate you, sweetheart,” she promised. “I think Rachel just doesn’t know what to think about you. She knows that you are very important to Jacob, and she’s his sister. She isn’t sure how to feel about you. When you’re older, you’ll understand it better.”  
“Oh. Do you mean because of the imprint?” Nessie asked. “You think she doesn’t like me, because Jacob imprinted on me. And she thinks I’m just a kid.”  
“No, that’s not it,” Bella said. “I think that Rachel just needs time warming up to you, okay? She hasn’t really known you—or us— for that long.”  
Nessie didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “I don’t want Rachel to take me to the beach, though,” she said. “I think it will be weird, and not fun. Can you ask Emily to take me instead? I like Emily. Or Embry?”  
It bothered Bella that Nessie didn’t like Rachel, and vice versa. She hoped it was just because of the age difference. Hopefully they would warm up to each other, in time. It was probably weird for Rachel, knowing that Nessie, who still looked and acted like a kid, would likely end up her sister-in-law one day. Bella made a mental note to talk to Jake about it. “I’ll see if Emily or Embry can take you. But don’t get upset if they can’t, okay?” She said.  
“I won’t get upset,” Nessie promised. “If they both say no, then you can try Rachel.”  
She went into the house to get a snack while Bella called Emily. Emily, it turned out, had been in bed sick all day, and it was Sam who answered. He sounded sympathetic when she explained why she was calling, and said he would have taken Nessie himself but he was busy taking care of his wife. Bella said she understood, and then tried Embry.  
Embry, unfortunately, didn’t answer. She tried three times, and he still didn’t answer, so she gave up. Nessie was still inside. Bella didn’t want to disappoint her. She wanted her to go to the beach and experience it like a normal child. She wished she could go with her, but that just wasn’t possible.  
So, desperate, she called Rachel Black.  
Like her brother, Rachel answered almost immediately. “Hi. Bella, I assume?” She asked. Bella said yes, and she laughed. “Jake told me you might call. Everything okay?”  
“Everything’s fine. It’s just... I need a favour,” Bella said. “Nessie really wants to go to the beach like a normal kid, but I can’t take her, and no one else is available. Emily’s sick, and Embry’s not answering, and I don’t even know Kim’s number so it’s not like I can even ask her.” She took a deep breath.  
“Ah. So you’re asking me if I would mind taking my brother’s imprint to the beach for a little while, because you, a vampire, happen to sparkle in the sun and therefore are unable to take her,” Rachel said. She laughed. “Are you kidding me, Bella? I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this for ages! Oh, we’re going to have so much fun!”  
Bella was quiet for a moment, stunned. “Wait—you’re serious? You’re excited? But I thought... I thought... I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but I was under the impression that you didn’t like Nessie.”  
“Why would you think that? I don’t have a problem with her,” Rachel said. She paused, and then sighed, as if realizing. “Oh. I can see why she would think that, I guess. I don’t mean to avoid her or anything. It’s just that I never know what to say to her when all you guys are around. I’m sorry, but you Cullens make me nervous. That’s why I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this, so I could get to know her better when it’s not a tense environment for me.”  
Oh. Of course. That made sense. Rachel had only known about vampires for a short time, after all. She was obviously more comfortable around the wolves, but vampires would be different for her. That was understandable. Bella remembered how nervous she had been at first, around the Cullens. “Oh,” she said at last. “I’ll do what I can to make it less... tense, for you when you come visit us, then. But you’ll take her? Just for a couple hours?”  
“Yeah, I don’t mind at all,” Rachel said. She sounded excited. “I’ll be there in about fifteen... maybe twenty minutes. And I can take her for as long as she wants. I don’t care.”  
Bella was relieved. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll get her ready. I really, really appreciate it, Rachel.”  
“It’s no problem, honestly,” Rachel said. “Pretty soon we might be family, after all.”  
Bella shuddered. She didn’t want to think that far ahead yet. “Yes, we might be,” she said. Rachel said she would text her when she left, and they hung up, and she went inside.  
“Hey, Nessie?” Bella called.  
Nessie appeared in the front hallway almost immediately, her eyes hopeful. “So? Can I go?” She asked.  
“Yep. Rachel’ll be here in about twenty minutes, so you need to get ready,” Bella said. Nessie frowned, looking almost disappointed, and Bella thought that she owed it to her to explain. She didn’t want any awkwardness for them. Not after how excited Rachel seemed. “It turns out that Rachel actually really likes you. But she gets really nervous around lots of people, so she doesn’t always know what to say. It wasn’t you at all.” She figured that it was safer saying people, rather than vampires, just in case Nessie felt insulted for some reason.  
Nessie brightened. “Really?” She said, and Bella nodded. “Yay! I’m gonna go get ready, then!” She hugged Bella, grinning happily, and then ran down the hall, yelling for Alice and Rose to come help her.  
Bella watched her with a smile, feeling both happy and a bit sad at the same time. She wanted to be a part of everything Nessie did. She didn’t want to miss a second of her life. But sometimes there was nothing she could do. She was just having a hard time accepting that she wouldn’t always be there for everything. Even if she wished she could, there were things that Nessie had to do on her own, things Bella couldn’t be part of. And as much as that was upsetting, as much as she wished that weren’t true, it was.  
“She’ll be okay, you know,” said Edward, and she jumped, realizing that he had come to stand beside her.  
“I know. I wasn’t worrying exactly. Well, I was I guess... But not about that,” she said, sighing. “I know she’ll be fine at the beach with Rachel. It’s not that.”  
“I know,” Edward said, smiling. “I want to be there, too. It’s hard to let her go off on her own. It’s hard to let go of her at all, even for a moment. Her future is so... uncertain. But she’ll be okay without us.”  
“That’s what makes it so hard,” Bella said. “She doesn’t need us all the time. Sometimes I wonder if she resents that we’re so overprotective. But I want her to need us all the time. Does that make me selfish?”  
“No. It makes you a mother, I suppose, wanting to be there for her,” Edward said. “It’s something we’ll just have to get used to. All parents have to get used to the idea that a day will come when she gets moves out of the house, goes to college or whatever, maybe even gets married, the day that their daughter is all grown up. And we have to get used to that idea a lot faster than most parents do.”  
“I don’t want her to grow up so quickly,” Bella said. She hated herself for saying it, but it was true. “She grows too fast as it is. I want her to have... a childhood. As normal as she can have it. I want her to go to school like a normal kid. But she can’t, can she? She can never go to school with normal kids. She won’t be able to have friends or... or go to sleepovers, or birthday parties, or do normal kid stuff.”  
“I think about that a lot. The things she can never have,” he said. “Sometimes I pray that her growth rate will slow down enough that she can go to school and do those things. I want that for her. But I don’t know if that will be possible. And we just have to take it in stride. We have to live for the moments. Enjoy them. She may not have the sort of childhood that you and I had, but she can have something like it. We can do our best to make sure that she gets to be normal as much as possible. But I think what matters the most is that she is happy, and safe.”  
Bella sighed. “You’re right,” she admitted. “I spend too much time thinking about what she can’t have, and not enough time appreciating what she does have. She has a beautiful home, and a family who loves her. It might not be normal for most people, but when have we been normal? I need to stop thinking about what she isn’t, and start enjoying and appreciating what—and who—she is.”  
Edward smiled. “I agree,” he said. “Besides, what more could we possibly ask for? We have a beautiful daughter, and I have a beautiful wife. I never imagined that I would ever be so lucky, and so happy.”  
Bella grinned, and took his hand. “You’re right. We are lucky,” she said. “We are the two luckiest people in the world.”  
Nessie came running down the hall, her curls bouncing, wearing a bathing suit. Alice followed after her, carrying a beach bag. She looked so happy, Bella thought. She hugged her, and silently, she prepared herself for the moment—and she knew it would happen before she knew it—that she would have to let her baby go. But hopefully, she wouldn’t have to for a long time


End file.
